


15 Years, 8 Years, and One Month

by cxhztile (orphan_account)



Category: Game Grumps
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst with a Happy Ending, Careless whisper, EVERYTHING YOU WANT, Heavy Angst, M/M, One-Sided Attraction, Pining, Song references, Unrequited Crush, angst and hurt, epilogue is considerably an alternate ending, losing my religion
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-12
Updated: 2018-05-13
Packaged: 2019-05-06 00:20:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 1,899
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14630097
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/cxhztile
Summary: Someone invades Dan's heart and sends his head afloat. Until an abrupt end.





	1. Introduction

**_1999_ **

Nineteen is a hard age to come by. Life is flashing before your eyes, getting hit with new experiences you were blind to only a year before. Twenty is exactly the same way, just a year closer to legally drinking, not that anyone follows that anyway. 

By late 1999, _Careless Whisper_ had been out for fifteen years, _Losing My Religion_ eight years, and _Everything You Want_ merely a month. But no matter their time gap, they were nonetheless relatable. Nonetheless hit one in the heart.

Especially if you know the feelings expressed and lived them. 

At least, that's how Dan thought of it. 


	2. Losing My Religion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There's someone.

The first to be his solace was R.E.M's _Losing My Religion_. 

Despite growing up Jewish, it already held no prevalence on his concept of creation and higher powers. Regardless, he felt it slip away at the sight of the other man. 

At least a year younger. Dark auburn hair, beginning to grow out long enough to be pushed behind the ears. Eyes a dark chocolate hue. Wrists littered with both rubber and beaded bracelets. Flannel loosely hung around his frame. Smile soft and shining. 

When all put together, it made a dreamboat. Which this boy was. Dan had only ever found girls attractive, as any typical male did. But this, this was the one exception. Of course, he did find some men handsome, but in the general way and the self comparison way. This time it was linked to his heart. 

The boy was visiting Jersey and the entire time we was there, he happened to continuously run into or see Dan in public. At one point, they finally took notice at the constant encounters. But, it only seemed that the time they happened to be in the local coffee shop at the same time that there was true acknowledgement.

They sat across the room from each other but sat in positions where it was possible to get a clear view of each other's face. Dan could have sworn any dumb smile or concealed giggle was at himself after he initially caught the boy's eye. He was trying to silently mime comedically after all. 

The moment that made his heart pound the most was his hair being ruffled as the boy passed him on the way to the restroom. Normally, it was unfortunate to catch the booth closest to the bathroom but that second of intimacy made it better. A napkin was laid upon the table when he trotted out and back to his family, Dan having to squint a bit to understand the numbers and name scrawled on it in pen. His thumbs nearly missed every number as he typed them, not aided by the size of his aqua blue Nokia 3210 compared to his hand. 

Waiting for a reply after testing the number was the most wrenching period of time he had felt in a while. But, the smiling emoticon in the reply let him sigh a huge breath of relief. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> woof this fic isn't as easy as i was thinkin'  
> tumblr: eroscalling


	3. Everything You Want

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Talk talk.

The second song was _Everything You Want_ by Vertical Horizon, which came out earlier in the month where this timeline is shoved. 

It took a few conversations and a bit of convincing of parents for Arin, the young man, to come over. At his moment of arrival, he was scooped into a  bear hug, raising suspicion between his parents behind him. They worried immensely about letting their son go to the home of someone they had never formally met and lived in the state they were merely visiting. But, Arin was too stubborn to back down from this opportunity and no way to get him to step off. All they could do was agree and pray he came back unharmed.

After seeing his parents off, he marveled at Dan's apartment despite its sheer meekness. The first off-detail Dan noticed on Arin's person was skinned knees revealed by what looked to be freshly torn jeans, which both the tears of skin and denim were explained to be results of a skateboard attempt hours earlier. The event brought upon as a dare from his brother. Piecing it together, it made sense; boys would do anything to show each other up. 

The living room couch is where they ended up situating themselves, babbling about anything and everything. This had already began in their calls, feeling a sense of comfort in each other and finding it unnecessary to hold back. When they hit talking about love lives was where it struck Dan the most.

He didn't have much of a record to his name in the first place, but he had hoped this would turn to another tally on his board. Unsurprisingly, Arin had a type, as everyone did. He wanted someone who was who he wished he could be and said all the right things at the right time. He shared that and other qualities he looked for, butterflies being added subsequently to Dan's stomach as he lulled on. His heart sunk hearing that back home there was an endearing girl who seemed to fit all the categories. Furthermore, he nearly choked on the lump forming in his throat as Arin stated he currently didn't think he had feelings for her, that they were just friends. 

It calmed him in the slightest when Arin rambled on, avoiding bringing Dan into the topic of his type. He would have mentioned his things for blondes anyway, hopefully avoiding his current intoxication. He would continue to linger in the back of his mind the fact that he fit all the qualities Arin wanted but appeared as nothing more than a recently met friend. 

That's when the dull pain began. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> these are taking longer to write than i thought. but are at least somewhat along the lines of my imagination.  
> tumblr: eroscalling


	4. Careless Whisper

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What's one to do with a heart anyway?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> take a sip babes. this is gonna be rough

_Careless Whisper_. _Careless Whisper_ happened to be the song that replaced oxygen for at least a good month, even though it was the oldest of his comfort songs. 

He wasn't sure how he found the dance at all. There just happened to be one in town on a beautiful Saturday night. He'd thought it would be fun to make the most of Arin's last night in New Jersey by inviting him along. The dress was semi-formal, which Arin almost missed the mark on. Thankfully, he just threw on a dark flannel over a solid black t-shirt and traded sandals for actual shoes. 

For a long while, they sat and talked, sounds of recent songs droning in their ears. It was at the sound of the first 80's song to play, _Take On Me_ by A-ha, that they perked up and felt the urge to dance. Arin was two years younger, but nonetheless lived the 80's, which could already be considered glorious. 

There was already uncertainty and anxiety boiling in Dan as he took Arin's hand and lead him to the dance floor. _Take On Me_ wasn't very much a song for partner dancing, but thankfully, the next song was slow and allowed them to dance. Arin caught cold feet early on but Dan was able to work around it. Towards the end, Dan leaned in so their foreheads touched, and Arin let it happen for a moment. As the music died out, they made eye contact, Dan lifting his head as he began to read Arin's eyes. Without words, he could see any feelings he may have had went unrequited and the other seemed only to want to remain friends. 

As Arin awkwardly exited the floor, Dan stood alone in the center, all eyes on him. He felt in that moment that he could just rip his heart out right there and throw it to the floor. He glanced behind him once more, hand still outstretched after half making an attempt to have Arin stay. When he couldn't bear to be in the spotlight anymore, he scampered towards a restroom, a sickly feeling consuming his stomach at that moment. He was lucky his hair was in short enough curls that they didn't need to be pushed back as he sat on the floor, having a few spells of dry-heaving. His stomach was too empty to produce anything but still felt queasy without fail. 

Only after making sure he was alone did he leave the stall and stand before the mirrors at the sinks.

Being twenty was one of the years where you're most vulnerable to be stupid and in love. And now, he could admit he was a victim. There was absolutely no comfort in know that his feelings weren't reciprocated and there was a painful hole burning where his heart was. He came on too strong and ruined the one good thing he culminated over the past month. The music was being blared too loud outside the door, so much that he could easily tell what was playing; _Careless Whisper._ By the time he took notice, he was already curling in on himself, lowering to the floor, and covering his sobbing eyes with his arm. 

He knew they could have been a great team, but by now, he was already in a deeper well. As George Michael vowed to never dance again through lyrics, Dan did the same. He knew this was all because he was young and ignorant but he still made the choice anyway. 

Arin was gone and he could do nothing about it. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ahh the angst is real. i hate hurting my boy yet i can do it so easily?? like i swear to you i love dan with all my heart but somehow i can write... this.  
> anyway, i think i'll write an epilogue but i'll only post it if people want me to. therefore the chapters are left on null unless enough people want the epilogue.  
> tumblr: eroscalling


	5. Epilogue/Alternate Ending - Don't Look Back in Anger

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Reunion

**_2011_ **

It was by chance. By chance that they met again. Arin happened to recognize Dan's curls from behind and surprised him with a hug. Dan jolted violently, not expecting arms to be wrapped around. He cocked his head to try to get a look at who it was but he had to stand to get a full view. 

Dark auburn hair, length very well past his ears. Chocolate brown eyes. Arms missing bracelets, but somehow slightly retaining tan lines from them even years later. Large, beaming, and dopey smile plastered on his face. 

Dan's eyes widened as he realized it was Arin and jumped into a hug, arms around his neck, legs at his waist. Arin's arms, now a bit beefy and stronger than so long ago, grasped him tightly. Dan had refrained from placing his face into Arin's neck, in case it was too awkward, until Arin himself did it. 

Twelve years was a long time to not see someone. Dan was still as tall and lanky as ever, skin and bone as always. Arin had packed on some weight but it wasn't negative and was actually kinda of cute.  Dan was thankful he shaved that morning, or he would have been a stubbly mess and would not have looked presentable. 

Dan gathered his stuff from the booth's table and followed Arin out, having agreed to go on a walk to catch up. He had promised to meet Brian later to talk over lyrics for a new Ninja Sex Party, his band, song. But, Brian could wait. During one pocket of silence, Arin interjected that he hoped Dan didn't look back at the last time they saw each other in anger. Dan reassured him, stating he couldn't possibly, especially as he was thinking with his heart not his brain, in a time where he was young and stupid. 

For a moment, it looked like Arin's soul slipped away as he recalled the night he hurt Dan, but rejoiced at Dan's soft smile. He cupped Dan's cheek, his own hand being caressed on its backside. 

Summertime was in bloom and hopefully so was a time of healing and love.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i wrote this at about 1 in the morning so sorry yall. anyway, nobody asked but i figured i'd post this anyway. i really wanted to keep the end of the fic sad and angsty but i know people would probably be mad. also reunions are fun right?  
> i feel like this fic could have been better even tho i tried really hard. i hope people like this. and feel free to talk to me on tumblr and we can get more indepth. thanks buds 

**Author's Note:**

> now you get the title eh?  
> tumblr: eroscalling


End file.
